Change We Can Believe In.
love and gamers.
By brian on: September 5, 2011sThis is not a wholly original piece/idea. But after seeing “Something Borrowed” and reading Chuck Klosterman, I felt the need to write this.
I am incapable of love.
Actually, that’s not completely true. However, I am incapable of being the type of man that women have been conditioned to desire. A more accurate statement would be along the lines of “I am incapable of being in and maintaining a meaningful and successful romantic relationship.”
Why is this the case?
I cast the blame everywhere: women, men, parents, media and of course, myself.
I possess a myriad of faults. I’m short. I’m not overwhelmingly attractive. I’m sarcastic. I’m hypercritical. I’m insensitive. I’m poor. Then there’s the issue of my particular interests. If you made a Venn diagram of my interests and women’s interests (stereotypically speaking), the overlapping section would be about as robust as Ashley Olsen after 12 months of chemotherapy.
But to put the blame only on myself would be unfair. Romantic comedies/dramas deserve their fair share as well. I recently watched “Something Borrowed” (a delightfully terrible movie featuring Kate Hudson and the equally annoying Ginnifer Goodwin of “He’s Just Not That Into You”) and came to a horrifying realization: I am not, and probably never will be, anything like the male love interest, Dexter Whateverhislastnameis.
Dex (as the movie frequently refers to him, which I’m fairly certain is due to the fact one of characters later mentions his name rhymes with “sex”) is predictably handsome, successful, charming, caring, warm and romantic. To sum it up in one word: boring. I can’t imagine myself wanting to hang out with this guy. And neither could any of the writers. The number of male friends he had could have been counted on the left hand of Bethany Hamilton.
The most compelling (I use that term loosely here) character in the film was Ethan – played by John Krasinski – a cynical, sometimes funny, writer who happened to be Ginnifer Goodwin’s boy BFF; the kind of guy that I found relatable and somewhat interesting. However, near the end of the movie he confesses his love for her and she predictably stonewalls him because she still has feelings for Dex, who happens to be engaged to her best friend. How predictable. The more interesting, less attractive man gets overlooked for the more physically appealing Dexter.
But the character of Dexter isn’t the problem. It’s the “idea” of him. He, along with nearly every other male lead in a romantic comedy/drama, represents an archetype of the male gender that women are conditioned to find attractive.
There’s only one problem with this archetype: he doesn’t exist. Comparing this archetype to the average male that he supposedly represents would be like comparing the WNBA to something actually entertaining.
Most men in their 20’s or 30’s have other male friends. They enjoy watching/playing sports together. They drink together. They laugh together. They play video games.
That last part is seems to be blatantly ignored by the movie industry as a whole. Yes, most guys in the 20-30 age range play video games to varying extents, but movies – especially those targeting the female demographic – seem intent on shielding women from this “harsh” reality. Most men are boys/nerds at heart. Some are just better at suppressing it than others. But even the best have their moments where their inner “nerd” comes out. And I want to see these moments portrayed on the big screen. Women should be prepared to meet the type of men that actually exist.
It’s a mutually beneficial idea. Men meet more women. Women meet more men. Gone are the preconceived notions of what men should be and gone are the heightened expectations of what these relationships should look like. This is the type of change I want to see. Forget the school systems. Forget fighting poverty.
I think we could all agree that society would be vastly improved with less “cat ladies” and socially inept 40-year-old virgins.
This is the type of utopia that I hope to see before I die…a 40-year-old virgin.
admin said on September 13, 2011
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